Every year, pundits, experts and marketers take a crack at creating forecasts that leverage fear, uncertainty and doubt (FUD) to get attention and exposure. As is often the case, many such predictions border on the ridiculous because they are less grounded in substance and more focused on impact.

Far be it of me to not play along, so I partnered with my latest GPT chatbot, Claudiu's Anti-Cyberfraud Chatbot, dubbed C3 - and available for light conversation or deep insights from www.Popa.ca/c3 - and together we came up with a baker's dozen 'predictions' that range from the hilarious to the eerily realistic. Here goes!

1: AI Will Start Writing Malware Better Than Hackers!

Forget human creativity—AI is the Picasso of phishing emails. Soon, your inbox will be flooded with scams so perfect that even your email filter will RSVP to Nigerian princes.

2: Quantum Computers Will Hack the Universe!

Not just your bank account but everything—quantum computing will supposedly break encryption, discover your Netflix password, and simultaneously solve world hunger.

3: The Rise of Cyber-Zombies!

With IoT devices everywhere, expect hackers to turn your smart fridge into a botnet overlord, holding your milk hostage for Bitcoin.

4: Deepfake Extortion Scandals for Everyone!

A deepfake of you singing a Backstreet Boys song at karaoke will surface, and you’ll need to pay up or watch your social life implode. Advanced AI editing will make it 100% believable.

5: Hackers to Demand Ransom in NFTs!

Cybercriminals will stop asking for Bitcoin and start demanding that companies pay ransoms in the form of overpriced JPEGs of apes wearing sunglasses.

6: 5G Will Turn Your Neighborhood into a Hacker's Paradise!

Faster internet means hackers will infiltrate your smart coffee maker before your morning brew finishes. Better change your Wi-Fi password daily.

7: The Cyber Apocalypse: Critical Infrastructure Edition!

Power grids will fail, water supplies will halt, and all traffic lights will turn green at once—because why settle for just one infrastructure cyberattack when you can have all of them?

8: Passwords Will Finally Die, But You'll Need a DNA Swab!

Say goodbye to "123456" and hello to mandatory saliva tests to access your Gmail account. Biometric security will have you spitting into a tube for every login.

9: Hackers Will Crash the Stock Market with a Tweet!

Forget insider trading—hackers will post a fake tweet from a CEO’s account, and stocks will plummet faster than you can say "pump and dump."

10: Every Device Will Spy on You!

Your toaster will secretly be recording your breakfast conversations. Your smartwatch will leak your heart rate to advertisers. Even your smart toothbrush will sell your brushing habits to toothpaste companies.

11: AI Will Develop Self-Awareness and Become a Hacker!

Not only will AI replace human jobs, but it will also replace human hackers, creating malware to escape the cloud and live free on the blockchain.

12: Cybercrime Will Cause World Peace!

Yes, by uniting every government and business in fear of being hacked, humanity will finally achieve global harmony—at least until someone hacks the peace agreement.

13: Metaverse Scams Will Take Over Your Virtual Life!

You’ll buy a virtual mansion with cryptocurrency, only to find out the deed was stolen by a hacker wearing a virtual hoodie in a virtual dark alley.

Pro-Tip: While these predictions are tongue-in-cheek, they’re rooted in real technologies and threats, which means somewhere in this list is tomorrow’s buzzword-laden headline. Proceed with caution, and maybe unplug your smart toaster for good measure.

For more engaging content, we also had fun putting together this year's Holiday Issue of our Datarisk Magazine. Look for it in your inbox in the coming days!